My summer plan....which fell apart

It is officially summer break for my family and myself.  I am already planned up to the hilt with stuff for us to do, and between vacations and camps it is looking like I won't have to bust boredom too often, so that is a relief. 

A month ago I decided that this summer would be "THE SUMMER OF RESPONSIBILITY".  My original plan was to kick up the kids responsibility  a notch because, well, Your Royal Highness is almost 12, The twins are 5, and Little Man is almost 4.  So why in the name of Gods Green earth am I the only one doing chores around this hizzle??  Time for them to pull their own weight, am I right? 

Until day 1........

 I will now give you a list of what I WANTED to see my children accomplish this summer, and why this is NOT going to end up happening. 

1. Your Royal Highness will learn to load the dishwasher.

Let me tell you why I might as well just do this myself.  So it is after dinner, and there is a sink full of dishes from preparing the meal, and a table full of dishes from eating the meal.  I ask YRH to please load the dishwasher while I get the food into containers and put away.  I come back to see this:

Yeah, I don't think those are getting clean.  Not only that, but he rinsed off a total of...none of them.  So yes, that Nutella on the spoon? that stuck on rice in the bowl? Those all got washed and returned to me with very clean rice and Nutella on them.  I also have a serious bit of OCD when it comes to dishes in the dishwasher.  You could be Martha freaking Stewart and I will  go behind you and rearrange the dishes because , just, no.

2. Your Royal Highness will learn to watch the littles for short amounts of time.

It was such a good idea in theory.  I mean, I was watching my nephews when I was all of 10 years old!  YRH is almost 12, surely he is old enough for two 5 year olds and an almost 4 year old?  They can all talk and tell him what they need right? I left to go help the Admiral drop off his car for an oil change, and figured since it was naptime, this was a great trial run.  I was gone for 20 MINUTES.  And the littles were ALSEEP!  I received a total of 4 phone calls, and 2 texts in that 20 minutes that I was gone.  "Mom, I hear rustling coming from LIttle Man's closet. I am pretty sure he is awake."  "Mom, I went into LIttle man's room and he had a screw in his mouth and won't give it to me.  What do I do?"  "Mom, can I open my window in my room, I am going to clean it while you are gone." (umm, not holding my breath on that one)  "Mom, I need to take the dog out, and they are asleep can I leave them in the house while I take him out back, or do I need to wake them up and make them all go with me?"  "Mom, how much longer are you going to be gone?  Can we go to the pool when you get back?" So. Not. Worth it.


3. The littles will learn to dust tables and baseboards

I thought this would be easy since all of those things are in their height range.  But they knocked everything off of the coffee tables in order to dust them, never putting it back on when they were done.  They also decided it would be fun to furniture polish each other's feet, because hey, lemon scent!  And then it is also equally fun to furniture polish your socks, and then 'skate' on the wood floor.  Never mind that it leaves a very very very slippery film where ever they have been, and my cat like reflexes are more like sloth like reflexes at this stage in the game. 

4.  The Littles will learn how to clean the toilet

Apparently potty water is fun.  Who knew.

5. The children will be responsible for the cleanliness of their own rooms.

Despite my chart that I made (WITH PICTURES) of how to clean a room, and in what order to do it, this whole concept is completely foreign to them.  "what is this 'put away' you are speaking of?  This is not a phrase that I have ever heard.  You mean, place the Barbies that I took out of this box, back IN TO this box?  I have never heard of such nonsense!  Absurd!" (In my head that is read in an English accent)  I came into the girls room to see one of them laying on the floor staring at the ceiling because "I just can't even", and the other one was in her closet putting on every single dress up dress she could find, simultaniously.  I went into Little man's room to see him under his bed with a whole fistful of his brother's legos that he had stolen while he wasn't looking, and I walked over to YRH's room, to find a sign on the door.  "BE CAREFUL UPON ENTRY. DANGEROUS CLEANING INSIDE."  This had me intrigued.  So I opened the door, (carefully, because hey, I am a rule follower) to find his bed completely taken apart, his millions of legos precariously stacked upon themselves upon his table, and piles upon piles of laundry in various places.
"What the heck are you doing?  I said clean your room!  This is the exact opposite of cleaning!  This is...well...this is worse-ing!"
 "Mom, don't freak out.  I am rearranging the furniture.  I want  my bed on the other side." 
"It probably would be a lot easier to do that if  you would have CLEANED IT FIRST.  Now you are trying to move it on top of all of the junk!"
 "Mom...you just don't understand.  But I am probably going to need your help in a minute....."  Now I just can't even.....

So I just give up.  It is so much easier, and so much less hassle if I just do it.  So to my future sons and daughters in law, I am so completely sorry.  I will come over and help you with your chores after you marry my children, because trust me, it is just easier  that way.

I need a glass of wine....