FIne! I will eat the cupcakes myself!

I have recently discovered that I am insane.

I am not talking like chop you into little peices, Hannibal Lector crazy, just not your normal stay home mom.  I guess I have known it for a while.  I never really fit in with the other "Muffy and Buffy" moms that lived in the neighborhood.  I actually overheard a couple of moms one time sighing over how they were just so frustrated that they had to declutter the house before their maid came over to clean for them.  My first thought was, "umm, you have a FREAKIN MAID!"  and my second was, "YOU HAVE A FREAKIN MAID!!!" I am gonna be honest.  I actually burst out laughing at them.  They looked at me funny, and I said, "I am sorry, I just....YOU HAVE A FREAKIN MAID!!!!!  I am happy when my mom comes over and dusts the floor while she is there, because she can't stand the dog hair tumbleweed that is happening.  How horrible can the whole de-clutter process be?"  Needless to say they moved their conversation elsewhere.

Another clue that I was not your typical SAHM, was when it came time to sign up for my son's classroom for volunteers.  Let me explain.  I have 4 kids.  3 of them are under the age of 4.  Let me repeat that.  THREE OF THEM ARE UNDER THE AGE OF FOUR.  I am in a constant state of "who is poopy? who needs to go to the potty?" at the moment.  I have snot on my shoulder 24/7.  But I am here, at curriculum night, with my at the time 4 month old giant baby (he was 10lbs when he was born, so add 4 months, you get the point) in the car carrier, while my saint husband is at home with barely one year old twins and the 8 year old.  The teacher says "sign ups for classroom volunteers for parties are in the corner."  Another mom that I know ran, RAN to the corner, and sat in the chair, holding the paper with her arm around it like someone was trying to cheat off of her during a test.  When I finally waited through the line to look at the list, she had signed up to be a part of EVERYTHING.  Well, I thought, good for her.  I looked at the "send in with student" part.  I figured I would send in cupcakes or something.  I signed my name, and it told me I would  contacted about items that were needed.

 Fast forwarding to the Harvest party.  I was never contacted.  I emailed his teacher and she said whatever I wanted to bring in was fine with her.  So I bought a halloween style cake mix, and make a bunch of my sons favorite funfetti cupcakes.  I was watching them cool when I though, I have absolutely no way of taking these in without  having to take everyone in with me.  So I called the aforementioned mom (the test taker) and asked her if she would mind, since she was a SAHM with both of her kids in school,  taking these cupcakes that I made in to the party.  (MInd you, the fact that I stayed up late to make these, sacrificing what little sleep I was already getting from having 3 kids under 2 was showing just how much I love my oldest, though he appreciates none of it)  This is the actual conversation:

ME: Hey there (insert mom's name), I made some cupcakes for the kids for the party, but with the babies, I just don't think I am going to be able to deliver them.  Would you be able to pick them up and take them when you go in?

Her: (pauses for a long beat), uuuuummm.  Did someone ask you for cupcakes?

Me: No, but I had signed up to send in stuff, and I never got an email asking what was needed.  So I asked the teacher and she said to make whatever I wanted.  Can you do it for me?

Her: (pausing again).  Uuuuuummm, what kind are they?

Me: (getting irritated) funfetti.  I already checked, there are no nuts or chococlate in them, so I figured most kids could have them.

Her: (pausing for a longer time)  uuuuuummmm, you know, I think we are good.  I think we have enough stuff, you don't need to make anything.  ________ is allergic to eggs anyway so he wouldn't be able to eat them.

Me: (trying to maintain composure) I already made them, I just need someone to deliver them.  If you can't that is fine.

Her:  No it isn't that, we just don't need your cupcakes.

She might as well have said it like this.  We just don't need YOUR cupcakes.

Me: (sighing a huge sigh instead of cussing her out)  Well, what DO you need?

Her: I dunno, maybe prizes or something.  But you really don't have to do anything.  I know you are so busy.

Me:  Well, if I have time to make cupcakes I THINK I can manage to run to Wal-Mart and grab some freaking stickers.  I will send them in with my son tomorrow, don't you fret your pretty head about how they get there.  Bye ________

I have to say I was a little hurt that they didn't want my cupcakes.  But again, I am not like other SAHM's. I am a little crazy. I tend to think for myself, have an opinion, say things directly, and swear on occassion.  I don't fit into your typical yuppy mode of the other mom's that live here.  (I should not say here, I should say there.  We have since moved.)  But that is not the reason I am crazy, people.  That just makes me delightfully offbeat.

I am crazy because I have 4 kids.
3 under the age of 4.
One who is pre-adolecent.
Two toddlers I babysit on the side.
A freakin dog that is useless
A husband who loves me and I really shouldn't completely neglect


And I just started a blog because my friends asked me to.

Welcome to my crazy.  I hope you enjoy the ride.