I get it into my head that I am crafty. I look at things all the time and think, Oh my goodness, I could totally do that!!! But guess what? I can't. I can't do it, and I need to get it through to my brain that I am not Martha Stewert and just be happy in my normalness.
But I am not happy in my normalness, I want to be special. So I keep trying, because I cannot admit defeat. We are not quitters in this family, and I will not quit trying. However, if this is how I am going to roll, I really need to just realize that it is never going to look like the picture, and be okay with that.
Oh you think I am exaggerating? I am so not.
For my twin daughters' birthday, I was doing a whole princess theme thing. I was making everything pink and purple. When I came across these little gems:
I mean, how cute are they, right? Little pink and zebra striped cookies, so cute! And they look just like the peanut butter blossoms I make at Christmas, and those are super duper easy! I can totally do this!! So I make up some sugar cookie dough, and put them in the oven and then put the little candies on top.....
Do they not look like two giant,hot pink, zebra nippled boobs to you? Because they looked like a cartoon had a mammogram to me. And I had to serve these at the girls' birthday party!! The Admiral could not quit laughing, and kept saying, "Man, these need some milk to go with them." Go ahead...laugh....I will wait....
Okay, so the same party, I decided to make this really adorable castle cake that I found online. It looked super easy.
Right? I mean, come on, no hard decorating, and it looks like a castle right? Well, I had a few issues:
And it isn't just baked goods. (which let me say in my defense, they may look ugly, but I make some of the best tasting baked goods you will ever eat. Not pretty to look at, but you won't have to look at them long, because they will be all gone in about a minute. There was NONE of the cake or cookies leftover, so at least I have that going for me).
No, I suck at making lots of stuff. I have been trying to teach myself to knit for a YEAR. I am still on the same ball of yarn I bought at the beginning, because I keep messing up. My poor Thumbellina has been asking me since last winter, "mom, I thought you were going to make me a scarf?" Yeah, well, I am sorry, but mommy starts off with 15 stitches, then 4 lines later I have 8, then 4 lines later I have 23. It looks like I was drinking while I was knitting ( and that IS a possiblity.) I tried cross stitching. I made one thing that was any good, and gave it to my niece (a cute little fairy), and ever since I just can't seem to count. The dog I tried to make for my son when he was born looked like it had a lazy eye, and was missing a leg. Maybe it is a counting problem with me. That would seem to be a possibility as well, except that I also have a problem with painting, or sculpting anything with clay, or drawing, or decorating, or anything that involves glue or glitter....
I just need to face it. I am like a person with a gambling problem. Except instead of gambling it is crafting. I am a girl who likes to craft, that needs to just be banned from Michael's craft store because sooner or later I am going to be owing them a fortune in back payments for my habit, and some big woman named Helga from the fabric department with one eye, a mustache, and black hairs growing out of the mole on her neck is going to come looking to break my arm if I don't pay up.
I guess I will just stick to making delicious cookies and cakes that don't need fancy decorations.
Oh wait! Look at this!! I could totally do this!!
No comments:
Post a Comment