It is happening people. A day that I have dreaded is upon us.
I saw it coming, and nothing I could do would stop it. No amount of preparations could get me ready. It came whether I liked it or not.
Next week.....
I turn 40.
I will give you moment to recover.
Not that 40 is even considered old anymore by most groups of people, (and when I say groups of people, I mean anyone 40 or older), but it is just the end of an era. And along with this milestone, certain things are expected. Things that I am not sure I have under my belt yet.
1. I still have not decided what I want to be when I grow up.
You would think by the age of 40, after having been in a certain field for so long, that you have achieved what you wanted to do with your life...career wise. You would be WRONG in my case. I am a stay at home mom/home preschool teacher. I like teaching. I tolerate children very well. I manage to teach these little germballs the basics, and more, before they flit off to school when they are 5ish. I do my job very well. But when I close my eyes at night....I .see myself doing something different. I still have visions of being a Broadway star. (In case anyone did NOT know, I went to the Ohio University school of music to become just this thing. I am still scratching my head about how my path forked so far left that i ended up singing twinkle twinkle little star to a bunch of people that would prefer to hear Mickey Mouse sing The Hot Dog song. I was in Carmina Burana for crying outloud!!! But I digress..) So do I like my job...yes. Do I love my job...sure. Is this what I want to be when I grow up? Meh.....
2. I still like to do my hair like I am in high schoolBeing a kid from the 80s-90s, I was in that big hair era. So do I mean that? No I do not. Some things are better left in memories. (Aquanet is still be expelled from my lungs.....) I mean that I enjoy a good messy bun, or 5, piled all over my head. I like a crown of braids. I like pigtails. I like scrunchies But in all honesty...how many 40 year olds do you see wearing their hair like that? I have a choice. I Can wear it down (which unless I am doing my hair daily, AND I AM NOT, I have 4 kids for crying out loud I am lucky to get a shower, this is not happening.) Or a ponytail. And at age 40, can one even do a cute high ponytail and NOT look like they are trying too hard to be young? Do I HAVE to do a low sophisticated ponytail? Because the back of my neck still gets hot when I do this, and the point of the ponytail is because it is hot and in my face while I am dancing the hot diggity dog.
3. I have not lost that babyweight yet.I still have that pesky 30 pounds hanging on that I meant to lose after I had my last kid. And at this point, he is 5, so there really is no saying it is babyweight anymore. Let's call it what it is...Tacos. I have a taco baby sitting right around my lower belly....(and arms, and butt, and legs....but don't worry about it), This baby is entirely made out of corn tortilla and nacho cheese. It may possibly have a strong bloodline of white and red wine flowing through it's circulatory system. But the point is...it NEVER WENT AWAY. I did weight watchers. I did fitbit. I did my fitness pal. But guess what? I discovered that I really like tacos, and Netflix. So we are at in impasse.
4. My house doesn't have a STYLE
I thought that by this time, I would have figured out a decorating style that I liked. Like my sister, who has lovely art on the walls. She has an entire bathroom dedicated to front doors. I am not kidding. Her bathroom is decorated in pictures of front doors from her family. With two old doorknobs from our house growing up or someone's house growing up that has some sort of historical value to her. It is put together. It looks nice. It says, "Welcome. I have my life together." My house when you walk in says, "It was on sale, and we needed something to hold our shoes." Our art? Family pictures, school pictures, deflated balloons from a a birthday party a month ago and dirty hand prints. There is also a splattering of bananas on the wall that I may or may not leave because it looks amazingly like Mother Teresa. I have no real art on the walls, except one painting that I PAINTED at a wine and canvas party. (had to feed that taco baby it's wine...)
5.I don't feel 40
-Don't spend too much on credit cards
-It is ok to say hi to someone you think is cooler than you, because they aren't.
-There really is no such thing as COOL when you are adult. You can wear the trendiest clothes and the trendiest hair, but chances are, you had to clean up your dog's poop just like the rest of us. And if you had a baby, a whole room full of strangers you will never see again have seen the holiest of holies.
-Your hair WILL grow back. So if you regret those bangs, or that pixie cut, time will heal.
-Staying up late drinking will hurt the next day. You will regret it. But you will do it again.
-It is ok to like yourself.
-It is ok to BE yourself
-Tacos are delicious
Though I don't feel like I am 40 in my head, there are certain things I can't do anymore that remind me I certainly am NOT 30 anymore. I can NOT:
-get up off the floor without saying, "Ugh"
-get up in the morning without saying "Ugh."
-Walking across the room after sitting too long without something making a popping sound.
-Sit on the floor for longer than 15 minutes without repercussions.
-Drink too much on a worknight
-Eat after 8 without heartburn
-go all night without getting up to go to the bathroom
So it is coming. I see it on the horizon.
Freaking 40.
Oh well, at least there are tacos.
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