Ch-ch-ch-changes....

There are times in my life that I am completely gung-ho-no-holds-barred-in-your-face-go-get-em with life.  I get stuff done, and the house is clean, and I am on top of the folders that come home from school.  Dishes are done and put away.  The dog is completely taken care of, including walked. I make my husband coffee and a hot breakfast, and take it to him into the office.  I have lesson plans for my preschool done for the next two weeks, with copies made, and all art project things prepared and waiting to be used.  We have meal plans, and schedules down, and discipline incentives are being implemented and carried through.

I am winning life in these times.

Then I have weeks like this week.

I have rewashed the same load of laundry three times because I didn't get it out and now it mildewed. Then mildewed again.  And then again.  The stuff in the dryer...it just lives there now.  I open the door to visit it and say hi.  It seems to enjoy these visits.

The amount of clutter is overwhelming.  I would complain about it, but I am pretty sure those coffee cups that are growing mold in them are mine because I haven't brought them to the dishwasher.  Funny, mold in coffee cups and in leftovers in the fridge are just about the ONLY plants that I can keep alive. I am actually quite a proficient horticulturist that way.

The homework and take home folders from school are so full, that the teacher had to take out the things, paper clip them together, put them in a regular file folder and start fresh. The homework gets done, but who has time to look at the corrected work???  Teachers, I adore you.  You are my people, you really are.  You deserve all of the things and a massage and a foot rub as well.  But it would seriously save me some steps if you would correct the work, and just put it right in the recycling bin because that is what ultimately happens here.  I trust your judgement girl...I don't need evidence unless there is an issue.

The dishes are just shy getting me my own episode of "Hoarders".  Stacked up to the ceiling, with who knows what all over them, and a funny smell that I just keep hoping will wash off once I get the dishwasher loaded. Is there a dead bird in there?  Maybe...we may never know.  I have the IHP's (indoor homeless people for you newbies.  Because let's face it, children really are just homeless people that live inside.  They wander around, dragging their possessions.  They lay around where ever they can find space.  And I am positive I have seen them eating out of the trash can.) do the dishes for me, but bless them....they are just really awful at it.  They actually put away an entire dishwasher full of dirty dishes once.  When I asked them, "Did you NOT see all of the crap all over them??"  Mini me just shrugged and Thumbelina stared at me like I was asking the dumbest question in the history of ever.  I pray for the souls of my future sons and daughters in law.  I hope they are full of the fruits of the spirit because they are going to need every. single. blessed. one.

My poor dog just stares at me. "Is today the day???  Will you walk me today??  Oh crap, you are on the couch.  It is not happening is it?" I tell him, "dude.  I have baby puke all over my shirt.  I have been singing wheels on the bus all day.  I also have had to listen to no less than 192,874,876 stories about Minecraft.  The house is a wreck and yet this is the first I have sat down all day because I am honestly doing SOMETHING and ALL THE THINGS, but I can not say what those are, because I swear on the life of Haley Joel Osment I can't remember.  I love you, but I need Netflix for 30 minutes. Ok?"  He does not understand this.  He continues to stare.

Breakfast has gone from Scrambled eggs and sausage, fresh fruit and coffee lovingly carried into the office, to, "I don't have time.  There are bagels and coffee in the pot." yelled from the playroom. Every man for himself, Admiral and children included.

Lesson plans are done the night before, and supplies are scrambled to gather right before the project is being done.  My students are getting very good at chatting with each other at the table while I mix paint.

Meal plans consist of, "yeah, I have no idea." and ultimately it ends up being tacos. Taco Tuesday!!  and Wednesday!! And Thursday!!

The chore chart has been all but abandoned.  I offer chore bucks (our incentive of choice) to anyone who will go bring me an iced tea from the fridge, or throw a diaper away for me, or bring me my phone that I leave all over the blooming house.

Why you ask?

I will tell you.

I now have all four children in school.  This means I must pack snacks, fill out slips, send in items, go to events for, and sign things for ALL. FOUR. CHILDREN.  I don't even want to tell you what I had to do for Little man with all of his million and five allergies.  For his epi pen, and inhaler, and steroids that I had to send in, I had to fill out no less than five million papers, a doctors asthma plan, and submit the blood of a virgin.

I also now have a child involved in extracurriculars.  Which means, I am at ALL. THE. THINGS.  In order to go to all the things while having to bring all the people takes planning.  "Is it going to be during a meal time?  I will need to bring food.  Is it going to be in between meal times?  I will need to bring snacks.  Is it going to be long?  I will need to make sure I bring some things for them to do.  Is it going to be cold?....."  It is not just, "let's go and tra la la."  It is a well thought out tactical plan.  Imagine a military mock up of the battlefield and pieces to resemble each child.  The Admiral and I painstakingly maneuvering and trying to think four steps ahead so that it can be a successful military operation. Seal team six sometimes has to be called.

On top of this, I have slowly started to try and reclaim some of myself.  I am singing on the worship team at my church.  YRH babysits the littles now, so Admiral and I are dating each other again which is absolutely amazing.  I am meeting up with friends again for drinks and dinners.

 People, being out in the public.....It is just as glorious as I thought it could be.  To all of my friends with children out there hesitant to leave your kids with babysitters....CUT THAT CRAP OUT!  Find someone you trust, and go out for heaven's sake!  Your kids will be fine.  I promise.  If you don't know any teenagers that are close to you, do what I did.  Hit up your church's youth pastor for names.  If you don't go to church....GO.  THEY HAVE CHILDCARE!  You can sit for a good hour in the sanctuary and have a thought to yourself for a moment!  I live for silent prayer time.  (Dear God....just...shhhhh......this is amazing."  Trust me, God believes in the ministry of a quiet thought alone with multiple deep cleansing breathes.

Then here is the cherry on the proverbial cake my loved ones.  I have a job.  A big wonderful awesome job.  I run a preschool/daycare out of my house.  My own children aren't even in it anymore.  This year, the ages that I have are 3, 2 1/2, 2, 4 months, and 2 months. The last time I had babies in my preschool was when I had Little man and child-that-I-care-for #1 (who btw graduated last year to go to kindergarten.  Cue all the feels.....) So I am adjusting to yet another new normal.  Baby normal.  And guess what.  Babies do not care if you want to do circle time.  They also do not care if you are wearing a new outfit that you got for your birthday. They are non-discriminatory pukers.

I may sound like I am complaining, but that is far from the truth.  I love my job.  I love babies.  I love that I am having to adjust because I get bored super super easy without a challenge.  And this is a big ol giant challenge.  But I got this.  Don't you fret.  I already have them on the same nap schedule, and it has only been a week and a half.  Go ahead, I will let you applaud.....

I guess the moral of this story is: life changes.  

You might think that the phase in your life that you are going through will last forever.   You feel you will forever be changing diapers, (well, in my case, kinda yeah because I do daycare.. unless that is you, you won't, I promise).  You might think, my kid is going to constantly be throwing tantrums until Jesus returns.  You might think your job or where you live, or the situation that you are living in is always going to be the same.  Well, I promise you, if I have learned anything in the last couple of years it is this:

EVERYTHING CHANGES.

Everything.  Even if you don't seek out to change it, it changes.  Change will be thrust upon you in some way.  It could be in a good way.  It could be in a less than desirable way, but it will still change.  Life ebbs and flows.  Kids grow up.  Jobs come and go.  People who you think will be in your life forever suddenly won't be.  And where a gaping hole was where they used to be, will suddenly be filled by something or someone else. Not to say it will take that person's place.  No one in your life can ever be replaced.  They have left an everlasting mark. But your time and attention will be shifted.   A relationship that was on the fringe, will suddenly be front and center in your life.  People will disappoint us, resulting in a change in trust. Our job, as people of this earth, is to learn to deal with this change.  We can try to fight it, but that is futile.  Or we can adapt.

I have found that you are stronger and more pliable than you think when it comes to change.  Something you thought you could "Never do in a million years" is presented before you.  Then a year from thinking that, you are up and not only doing but excelling in it.

You can do change.  Just wait.  I think you will surprise yourself.

Except for that laundry.  It is just going to live there forever and ever amen.