A Purchase we will NEVER make.

The other day the Admiral came to me with a question that I physically and mentally rolled my eyes at him about.

"Hey!  You know, next year we are going to have some extra funds.  We should get an RV!  How much fun would that be?  We could go camping all the time in the summer, wouldn't that be great?"

Acca-WHAT???? 

Ok, first of all, having extra funds, always a positive right?  But out of all of the things in the entire world that I would pick to spend said extra funds on, a giant metal tube on wheels, meant for sleeping in at a camp ground is NOT one I would have even put in the running.

There are several things I have boundaries on in my life.  I do NOT go near, touch, look at (even in books) or even want to hear mention of snakes.  At all.  Ever.  Snakes are my red zone area.  You come at me with snake talk, and I will run away, and then come find you in your sleep and do mean things to you.

I do NOT like to be tickled on the feet.  You will loose your hand and possibly an eye if you try.
Pedicurists be wary, you touch me too light, you are getting your face dunked in the little foot hot tub.

I do NOT like bugs.  One bug, ok.  I can deal with one bug.  You get multiple bugs around me, and I go into full panic mode.  Don't even get me started on bees.  Well, not so much bees, but their evil look alike twin, the freakin yellow jacket.  God, even the name sounds awful doesn't it?  Who wears a yellow jacket ever?  That alone makes them jerks.  Yellow jackets.  Hey, the 90's called, they want their jacket back.

I do NOT like to sweat, or be too hot, or be in the humidity.  Please see my earlier post about exercise for my hatred of sweat and what it does to my body.  I do not like to get too hot, because I sweat.  And I do not like humidity because, well, have you ever seen the Drew Barrymore movie, Firestarter?  Yeah, that is my hair when it is humid.  And the heat that is dispensed from my body when I get too hot could most likely start a fire.  Summer is not my friend.  It isn't.  Bathing suits, and tank tops, all they do is make me miss the body that I lost after I had kids.  Thank you summer, you are a jerk.

So with all of these in mind, WHY in God's earth would I want to spend money, and a LOT of money, on a vehicle that would be for the sole use of putting me right in the midst of all of those things (with the exception of tickling of feet) that I despise so much???  I feel like he doesn't even know me despite the fact that we have been together since my junior year of high school.  And you know what else?  I don't like sleeping in the same room as my kids!  And we would all be holed up in this giant test tube, unable to get away from each other for days on end.  God forbid it rains!

 I can't stand camping.  I feel like Jim Gaffigan said it best, "If the outside is so great, they why are all

of the bugs trying to come into my house?"

Needless to say, we are not getting an RV.  Nope.  Sorry Admiral.  I am with you most things, but we will have to agree to disagree on this one. 

I mean, really, ME?  The queen of air conditioning? The girl who only ventures outside when the temperature ranges between 50 to 78 degrees out? Owning an RV like an outdoorsy girl?  (All you all who know me, feel free to laugh maniacally at this point. )