How did this happen??

So, I know how other people go around thinking that all of the people around them are morons, or saying things like "I am surrounded by idiots" and the like.  Well, I am here to say, I am sorry.

I am the moron. 

I don't know when this happened.  I don't know how this came to be.  I used to be a smart person.  I was.  I had my schmidt together.  I was in the flow.  I knew stuff.  But now, all of a sudden, I seem to be doing a lot of apologizing lately, and for good reason!  I am to blame! 

I am not telling you all of this to get sympathy.  So please do not feel the need to shower me with compliments.  If anything, this is a blanket apology to everyone, and the only response sought out is, "It's ok.  We forgive you." 

Here are some scenarios:

*You are in line at the drive through, and it is completely filled up.  The line is out to the street.  You think there is room for you to get into the parking lot from the street without blocking traffic, because  everyone is moving up one place quickly, and in another second, you are in.  So you pull up, but all of a sudden the movement stops, and now you ARE blocking traffic.  You look, and there is one car that did not move up, and there is a space there, where if they did move up, you would be out of the way.  But she is looking behind her at the back seat so she doesn't see it, so now your butt is hanging out into oncoming traffic. 

That lady up there is me.  And I am yelling at my kids to quit kicking each other. Sorry about that.

*Ok, now you are in line at the grocery.  You have only 5 things.  You get in line, and ahead of you is a lady who has the entire belt full, and more in the cart.  But it is going quickly so you decide to wait.  She gets to the end, and when it comes time to pay, they ask her for her customer loyalty number, and password.  It takes her 4 tries because she forgot that she put the number under he cell phone number instead of her home phone number, and it keeps getting rejected. 

Again.  That lady is me.  I apologize.

*You are at a stop light.  The red light is taking a really really long time.  All of a sudden it turns green!  Finally!  But you aren't moving yet.  What is the hold up?  The light quickly turns yellow and then red again!!

Um, it is me, and I was daydreaming because this is the first moment I have been alone away from noise in three weeks, and I forgot where I was for a moment. I am sorry, please don't hate me.


*You are in Target.  It is a busy Saturday morning.  There are lots of shoppers in here, and as you head up the main walkway headed toward the back, you are stopped by a mom and her children who have made a human barrier across the aisle, holding hands, as they walk at the snails pace her toddler's have set.  To add insult to injury the littlest one keeps stopping to jump over each and every colored line that he finds.  There is no way around, and you need to get back there.  So you continue to follow, cursing the lady under your breath.

Umm, again me.  Sorry.  Some other moron with only one child took the last cart that had enough  the seats for all of my kids to fit in, so because the girls are walking, little man wants to walk.  Trust me if he didn't get to walk too, there would be much wailing and gnashing of teeth.  This is our best option, but I am sorry.

And finally
*You are at a party for March madness at a friend's house.  All of a sudden the doorbell rings.  Your friend (the host)  disappears for a moment outside, then returns and is headed toward you.  "Hey man, the lady outside apparently was backing out of her driveway and accidentally ran into your car that was parked across the street from her.  She wants you to come out and see it so she can exchange information with you. 

sigh......yes.  Me again.  I don't know what to say.  The Admiral was going to stay home with the littles so I could go visit my family that was in town, and I had made cupcakes.  As Your royal highness and I were leaving, I guess I completely ignored my BACK UP CAMERA, because I was concerned my cupcakes were going to fall.  As I looked at YRH to tell him to hold them so they didn't fall, I hear the sickening crunch.  There are no words for this amount of sorry.

So there you have it.  That person out there you are furious at in the store, or in traffic, it is me.  I am sorry.  Please just understand, I don't get out in public much, and when I do, I guess I just don't know how to act anymore.  Plus most of the time I am on limited sleep, or I have a bunch of IHP's with me (for you rookies, that is Indoor homeless people) so I am distracted.  If you could grant me some grace instead of yelling at me, or breathing your breathy sighs in my direction, you would make my day.  Thanks!