Once Upon a Time......

I am not going to lie, I love to read.  A lot.  I have a certain genre that I like, and I prefer to read books that are in a series.  I feel like I am really weird when it comes to books.  I have rules when it comes to reading. 

#1. Thou shalt finish the book as fast as humanly possible.
 I tend to start a book, and if it is a good one, I will finish it as fast as possible.  I get really into a story, and then I have a really hard time putting the book down until I know everything that happens.  Before I got my Kindle, I would read the last two pages of the book, just so I would have an idea of what happens at the end, and to quote When Harry Met Sally "so that if I die before I finish the book, I know what happens." Also, I have a very weak ablity to delay gratification, so I must find out, and it cannot wait.  I finished Harry Potter's Half Blood Prince in 28 hours straight.  And yes.  I am proud of that fact.

#2. Thou shalt not bother me when I am in a good part

So I have four kids, as most of you know.  Three of them are very small.  I get very witchy if I am in a good part of a story and someone needs something from me.  It is as if in my head I am thinking, "Don't you people understand??  Katniss is hiding and the people looking for her are RIGHT AT THE BOTTOM OF THE TREE SHE IS IN!  This is not a time for needing help in the bathroom! I know you are two years old, but I think you can manage to wipe your own butt!  I have to make sure Katniss gets out of the tree alright! She needs my help or she will die!" 

#3. Thou shalt love the main character as thyself
I tend to get attached.  This is the reason I stick with books that are part of a series.  I actually had a mourning period after Harry Potter was over.  I even broke my rule #1 with the final book, trying to slowly read it, savoring every last word, because I knew it would be the last.  With Hunger Games I felt defeated and sad, because I wanted to spend more time with Katniss.  Don't even get me started with 50 Shades of Gray.  Oh sweet sweet Christian....  So the longer the series, the better for me.  This is why Janet Evanovitch is my hero.  We have Stephanie Plum going into book 20 and still going strong!! 

#4. Thou shalt read the book before seeing the movie.

This rule is a big one for me.  Movies tend to seriously mangle the book.  I like to go into the movie already with the knowledge of what is going to happen.  I feel I have an advantage because I know so much back-story. Like a little secret only I know.  Gives me a sense of superiority over those lesser people who have not been as enlightened as I, and read the book.  Also, I like to form my own ideas of what a charactor looks like.  For example:
In my head:
Christian Grey:  Looks a lot like Matt Bohmer from White Collar.
Katniss Everdeen:  Looks like me with brown hair
Hermionie Granger:  Looks like me with brown curly hair
Harry Potter:  Looks like Daniel Radcliff (umm, because he was perfect for the role I tell you!)
Ron Weasly:  Looks like the Admiral with red hair
Stephanie Plum:  Looks like me with crazy jersey hair and make up

So you see, movies will ruin the picture I have in my head.  I do not need that until the book is over.  I don't want to read a whole book and have some random actress in my head the whole time.  They get enough attention. 

#5. Thou shalt have an element of science fiction or fantasy about it, with a few exceptions.

I love me some fantasy.  I have already told you what a nerd I am, so this should not be a surprise.  I love Lord of the Rings, Dean Koontz books, Stephen King, Harry Potter, and many others of the same genre.  I do have a few exceptions.  I like mysteries.  Those do not have to have a sci fy element, because the question of "why" or "who"  takes the place of that.  I need an element of wonder about my stories.  I read to escape the world I live in.  I don't need to read about things that could happen to me or others in the here and now.  This also has it's exceptions (Unbroken is one.  Oh. My. Gosh. That book was amazing and intense.)

So these are my rules.  I rarely break them, but sometimes it is necessary.  For example, if I don't know a movie is based on a book, I will sometimes see it first and then read the series after.  Or sometimes I will have to put the book down to take care of my family, therefore leaving our Hero or Heroine in peril for days at a time.  But it is rare. 

Right now I am on the search for a good series to read.  Any suggestions are welcome.  But you know

my rules now.  So no romantic comedies, or love stories, unless it has that S&M, broken psyche sort of element to it like 50 shades.  Or one of the couple is being stalked by a murder that has some sort of devilish quality about him, or can see ghosts like Odd Thomas. Or one or more of them can do magic. Or one of them is a vampire, and not the kind that sparkles.... because that is just stupid and I have my standards. (and yes, I read them......)