What if adults talked like kids?

So I was listening to my kids talk to other day, and I had a thought.  What if, WHAT IF, I talked to my friends the way they talk to each other.  What kind of a jerk would I be?  I certainly wouldn't have any friends that is for sure, and I would most likely go to jail for assault on more than one occasion.  So I am going to share with you a few brief conversations my kids have had, and I am going to post it as if I were talking to someone else, just so that you can see how ridiculous kids are.  Mkay?

Scene: watching a show about planets on National Geographic
Me: I like Uranus
Friend: My anus
Me: No, Uranus.  I like it.
Friend: I like it too.
Me: No you can't like it, I already said I like it.  I like Uranus
Friend:  I like it too
Me: No!  IIIIIIIIII LIKE URANUS!!!!!  IIIIIIIIIII DO!!!  YOU DON"T LIKE IT, I LIKE IT!!
(pause for a beat)
Friend: I like my anus.....



Scene: listening to music in the car
Me:(singing)  I don't care.....I love it
Friend: I like that too, I don't care...........
Me: NOOOOO!!!!!  I AM SINGING!!!!!!!! 
(Friend looks at me and starts to cry)
Me: You can sing later, but not that song, you can sing another song.  That is my song.


Scene: Hanging out in the family room ( now this was between me and one of the kids)
Friend: Let's go have a snack, ok
Me: I want to finish my puzzle
Friend: Can we finish the puzzel after snack?  It is time to eat.
Me: NOOOO!!!!!  PUZZLE!!!!!!! I WANT THE PUZZLE!!!! 
Friend: Fine, then you won't have any ice cream then.  Because I was going to have ice cream.  You can have nothing.
Me: I WAAAAAANT ICE CREAM!!!!
Friend: Well let's go then
ME: I WAAAAANT PUZZLE!!!!!!!!


Scene: Hanging out in the family room
Me: (to everyone in the room) I am so beautiful in this dress!  I am just a precious thing aren't I?  I am just so precious in this dress you all want to look at me.


Scene: In the van
Friend: (singing) Christmas lights, christmas lights, I love christmas lights.....
Me:(Singing) C.L., C.L., C.L......
Friend: (singing) C.L, C.L., C.L
Me: You can't say that, you don't know what it means.
Friend: Yes I do.  C is for cake.
Me: Hahahaha!  No it doesn't, it stands for Christmas lights!!  Hahaha!  You can't sing it because you don't know what it means!
Friend: But C is for cake.  (singing) Cake cake cake.....
Me; (singing over friend, louder.  Much louder) C.L., C.L., C.L........!
Friend : CAKE....CAKE...CAKE........!

Scene: (hanging out in the family room yet again)
Me: (reciting chistmas list out loud to no one in particular )and I want play dishes, and play food, and books, and a tutu...
Friend: Are you done talking yet?  I want to talk.  You are taking too long, can I talk now?
Me:  NO!  I am not done talking!  You wait until I am done! (pauses and glares menacingly at friend)  and I want princess dresses....

So you see, kids are little jerks to each other.  How do these people make friends, and actually keep them?  If I were another kid, I wouldn't want to be friends with another kid, because they are just rude, self absorbed, little jerks.  But they manage to keep friends, and I just don't get it.  When do they grow out of acting this way?  Well, the more I think of it, I am not so sure EVERYONE grows out of it.....