All alone

Rarely does the Admiral ever go out of town for work.  He works from home for a really big tech company, and has all of his accounts here around our hometown.  So it is rare that they ever ask him to travel.  They asked him recently to go to Denver for some training that he needs to do.  He just left yesterday afternoon,  and he is to be gone for a week. I have extremely mixed feelings about this, and I am hoping by posting this, most other moms would feel the same way and validate me. 

I shall list for you the pros and cons of my husband being out of town for an entire week.

Cons

1.  I do not have anyone to watch "The Walking Dead" with me, and to reassure me at night when I go to bed that zombies do NOT exist, and that our house will not be broken into by said zombies, and they will not eat my face off.  I also do not have anyone to watch Sleepy Hollow with, and reassure me that there really is no Headless Horseman that wants to break into our house and chop off my head because somewhere down the line I was an ancient relative of someone who wronged him.

2. I do not have anyone here to go investigate that noise that I heard, and that I am sure are zombies that are here to eat my face off, or the headless horseman who wants to chop off my head.

3. I work from home, and therefore, my coworkers are my children.  And when the littles that I babysit get picked up in the evening, I am stuck at home with my coworkers, and that is all.  There is no one but a toddler, two preschoolers, and a moody preteen to keep me company.  So there is no one here for me to difuse any tense tantrum situations by listening to my humor it.  So instead of seeming funny and witty by being sarcastic to mini me, I seem douchey because no one is around who actually gets the sarcasm.

4. Right now all of my littles are sick, and Your Royal Highness told me this morning that he had a sore throat.  So last night when Thumbellina puked in her bed at 2am because she coughed too hard, it is me and only me who got to deal with the laundry, the cleaning of the carpet, the bathing of the Thumbellina, and the redressing of the bed and Thumbellina.  It is also me and only me who gets to talk me down from the ledge when I am sure that she has some weird baby disease that there is no cure for, instead of it being just a really bad sinus infection. (Seriously, someone needs to be here to keep me off of WebMD.  I have a problem people, I need help).

5. There is no accountability at all for me to get out of my pajamas during the day.  At all.  The moms that I work for empathize completely with my plight, and in fact, the one I have babysat for the longest, and is a really good friend of mine, is way too encouraging about this. "What is the point?  Just stay in your pajamas!  I would if I were you.  I would never ever get dressed.  On the weekends, I don't!" Thanks she-who-will-not-be-named-but-rhymes-with-the-word-Fephanie!

6. Also there is no accountability for doing the dishes.  (see #4 of Pros for my solution to this dilemma)

Pros

1. I have a much larger appreciation for single mothers.  (seriously, you guys are amazing!)

2. I get to watch the Cooking channel, Food Network and HGTV as much and for as long as I want to.  As well as any Project Runway marathons, and multiple episodes of Glee, to which I can sing along as much as I want and not get the glare.

3. I can eat from the Frozen Yogurt carton with a spoon and not feel shame.  I literally drizzle on the chocolate syrup right into the container and eat what I feel is about a cups worth.  Then put the lid on and put it back in for tomorrow. (Do not judge me weight watchers people, one cup is only 4 points, I freakin count it!  Don't worry!)

4. The kids all think I am awesome because I let them stay up a little later, eat cinnamon rolls for breakfast, eat off of paper plates, watch more TV, and play on the computer longer.  Most of this is really just for my survival.

5. I can Pinterest and watch TV at the same time without the snarky comment "Well, I am so happy we are spending time together this evening." ( Really?  We are sitting in front of the boob tube, zoning out to crap TV.  How is this quality time?  We are barely speaking.  We can do that while I am looking at awesome things and crafts I will never do or own.)

6. Epic long conversations with friends on the phone.  I mean epic.  My ear is sweaty from the amount of time on the phone.  sigh....reminds me of my high school days.  Plug the phone in the wall, and lay me on the floor with my feet up on a chair while I chew gum and twist my hair with my fingers and I am back there baby.


All in all, I can totally manage four kids, a dog, and the house while he is away, because I am awesome like that.  But am really really glad it is not that often that I have to do it, because I really don't know that I am quite THAT awesome.