I have told you where we are going three times! Go home Dora, you are drunk...

You know, when I was a kid, there were only a couple of times a day that appropriate TV shows were available to me. 

There was the good ol' PBS at lunch time with Sesame Street.  There were a couple of cartoons on in the morning before school was on. (Jem and the Holograms, GI Joe,  Transformers, and Voltron were my personal favorites.) and sometimes on holidays or the week before, there were some prime time holiday specials.  They were called specials because that is exactly what they were.  Special.  Because  they were only on once a year.  And if you missed it too bad.

Then there was also wonderful Saturday.  Ahhh.  A whole morning dedicated to cartoons.  NBC, ABC, and CBS had on show after show of awesomeness, so you could spend the whole morning relaxing and enjoying TV. 

And that was IT.  You wanted to watch TV during dinner?  You got the news.  Prime time?  You would watch Dukes of Hazzard and like it.  Watching TV after 9 pm??  Oh, there was a whole new kind of education for you.  I learned all about business and relationships from shows like Dallas.  For example:

and

I feel sorry for the kids these days that don't have JR Ewing to look to for business ethics....

Now a days though, your kids have endless choices in what to watch on TV.  There are whole channels dedicated to babies, and preschoolers.  There are separate channels for kids who are younger and older.  And any show they really really like, they can watch over, and over, and over on demand until your eyes and ears bleed from the sights and songs. 

This is where my rant falls in for today. 

Now don't get me wrong, when Your royal highness had the flu, and was throwing up all hours of the night and couldn't sleep, I was damn grateful to Nick for their endless showings of iCarly that kept him happy while he was miserable at 2am. There is also something to be said about the fact the colors and quiet joy of Calliou help to calm a teething 2 year old at 10pm when he wont sleep.  But having these endless  options for kids to watch whatever, and  whenever they want have some bad aspects also.

For example.  My kids fight every single morning about what they are going to watch during breakfast.  It isn't like when we were kids and it was the choice of Jem or Voltron, and that was it.  The conversation goes like this.
Me: What do you guys want to watch?
Mini Me: I want to watch Bubble Guppies
Thumbellina: No I want Micky Mouse Clubhouse
Mini Me: You got to pick yesterday, it is my turn
Thumbellina:  I want Mickey Mouse, I don't want Bubble Guppies
Little Man:  I Thomas, I Thomas, I Thomas!!
Your royal Highness:  Mom, why don't I ever get to pick
Me: Your cartoons are rated 7 and up, they aren't appropriate.
Your Royal Highness:  Well can I at least pick the preschool show we watch?
Me: Sure
Your Royal Highness:  Ok, Paw Patrol
All Toddlers:  NOOOOOO!!!!!!

And then chaos ensues, and I end up having to turn the TV off until everyone calms down. 

Also, I think due to the frequency of the kid shows that are on in our house, my brain is suffering from atrophy.  I find myself alone in my car singing "Bub bub bubble, gup gup guppies" or worse, "Look up high, in the sky, it's a school, it can fly!  Let's all hurry to the flying fairy school!!!"  (Thank you sesame street for that little gem!)  I get all excited when I remember to listen to the real radio. When I hear the music, I feel like I am listening to it for the first time. "OOh, what is this?  The lyrics are so mature and thought out!  So poetic!  The beat is intoxicating!  What is this magic????" 

Also, watching a grown up show feels the same way.  "Plot line!  Character Development!  Twists in the plot!  Different characters that do not care about being nice all of the time, or teaching manners!  No one is asking me to be their helper or pauses for my response!  It is like they don't even know I am there!!!  What evil genius came up with this idea???"

The other issue I have with TV now is that kids have no sense of urgancy to pay attention.  If they

miss something, or talk during the show, they can just rewind it, or pause it, or heck, even download it later if they want!  When I was a kid, I had to make sure that i was up, dressed, breakfasted, teeth brushed, and hair done by 8:00 on the dot, or I would miss Jem.  And that was not something that I wanted at all.  So I was never one to "oversleep" or "fall back to sleep" after mom woke me up.  I had priorities!  I had a meeting with Jem and the Holigrams to see if they would make it to the concert that night!  What if the Misfits really did thwart them this time??  What if Rio found out Jerrica and Jem are one in the same??? (Though I always thought Rio was kind of daft to not know the difference, and why did Jerrica not get bothered by the fact that Rio, in essence was cheating on her ALL THE TIME!?!  Sorry, tangent..) So I would hurry up and get ready.  Does my son have this sense of responsibility?  This urgency?  No!  He will just fall back to sleep after I wake him up.  Then I have to be mean, and go up there, and rip off his covers, flip on his light, and dump him out of bed, all while using my angry voice.

So the moral of this:  Endless choice options and endless availability forces me to be Mommy Dearest in the morning, causes irresponsibility in children, and animosity between toddlers.  Are you happy now cable companies??  Well, are you???  You should be ashamed of yourself.......


(I would like to make a disclaimer at this time.  Please do not comment about how horrible a mom I am for letting my kids watch TV.  First of all, They get, maybe, a total of an hour to an hour and a half a day.  Total.  And second, what troll can cook dinner, clean up breakfast dishes and do laundry with three toddlers running around under her feet??  I am sorry, they need occupied, or someone will be sticking a fork in the outlet!  Nuff said!)