Ode to Coffee

I would like to take a moment just to sing a little song of praise to my hero, my motivator, my one true love, the one I cannot be without............coffee.

Oh coffee, how do I love thee?

I love the fact that coffee smells like morning.  It is pungent, and strong, and bold, everything that I am not in the morning.  I wake up looking like a mixture Keith Richards and Lindsey Lohan on a bender.  My hair is a mess, my eyeliner is usually racooned under my eyes, (yes, I know you aren't supposed to go to bed with makeup on, but you know what, I am lucky if I brush my teeth before passing out at night.  I am so tired, that most of the time I don't even make the transition from yoga pants to pajamas!)  my mouth feels like I swallowed a mouthful of sand and poop, and every move I make sounds like I am popping popcorn in my body.  I walk downstairs, and pull out the bag of coffee grounds, and just the smell of it makes me a better person.  The aroma actually wipes the sleep out of my eyes for me.  I pour the powdered gold, into the coffee filter, and I swear, angels float around me singing "Zippidy do dah! Zippidy aye! My oh my what a wonderful day.."  and little birds and rabbits come around my feet dancing a long.  It is magical. 

Then there is a wait.  The awful wait between pushing the button, and beautiful wonderfullness in my cup.  What to do during this time?  Still too sleepy to check email.  Still too tired to watch the news (plus what a crappy habit is this to do?  Good morning!  Let me tell you about all of the bad crap that happened while you were asleep!  Because nothing says make today great like hearing about all of the evil in the world!  But no, it is either that or flip right to Nick Jr, and then feel like stabbing out my eyes and ears that much earlier in the day.  So news it is.)  I usually just sit and stare out the window waiting for it to magically turn from black dirt into my magic elixer.  I often wonder how much time I spend staring out the window if I added it all up.  I mean, I feel like I stare out of the window alot.  And what is that about?  What does my brain do while I am just staring?  Is it rebooting?  Is it decompressing?  I stare out the window when I am with my kids in the basement for an alarming amount of time.  But that is another post.

Then it is time.  I pour my flavored creamer into the cup first, because making sure it is mixed thourghouly is important to me.  Flavored creamer is a big deal in our house.  If we have coffee and no flavored creamer, the Admiral will go out, and get creamer (or Starbucks depending on how he is feeling), because this is an Defcon 5 situation.  You know it is important if you are going to actually
use heavy machinery before you drink the liquid sunshine. 

So creamer is in the cup, the beautiful steamy liquid is poured on top of it, and EVERY STINKING TIME I take a sip right away and burn the crap out of my tongue.  It is like I just cannot learn.  I have no willpower for delay of gratification  in my body, I have to get the coffee in there as soon as possible, and if bodily harm is involved, so be it.  I know that I have scar tissue all over my tongue from this, because it hurts much less now than it did years ago.  I can also eat much spicier food that I did years ago, and this I attribute to the heavy hot coffee drinking.  My mom can literally pour it right from the pot into her mouth, and is unphased completely.  I guess since she is 80, her tongue is just one giant callouse. 

What else do I love about coffee, besides the fact that it saves my life, and the lives of all I live with,
by me consuming it?  The variety!  Right now is pumpkin latte season.  I know some people are not fans, but holy cow am I a lover of Pumpkin Latte.  Caribou coffee used to have the best one, but then some evil demon of a person bought them and then SHUT THEM DOWN!!!  If I ever meet this person, I am filling up a sock with butter and smacking him with it. (Pause for a moment to simmer down my anger a bit......  Ok.  I am good now.)  Then at christmas there is peppermint mocha, and in the winter there is salty caramel mocha!  In the hot summer, there are iced coffees, and frappes!  AND ICE CREAMS!!!  Mocha java chip....you are a genious Graeters!  Best ice cream flavor ever!

So that is my little ditty about how great coffee is.  I need to go.  The babies are all asleep, and the Admiral is home today watching TV and chilling, so I am going to run out to Starbucks!  Later yall!