Let's just take the little gem of last night. After dinner (of which no one ate. Jerkfaces...)
6:30
I take the kids into the playroom, and promptly get on my Kindle to play on the Internets. Do not judge me people, I am a SAHM (stay at home mom), as well as watch two toddlers on the side. I play with these children for 12 hours a day, engaged, creative and educational play. So after dinner, you are on your own peeps. I will be happy to intervene if it gets to Lord-of-the-fly-ish, but otherwise, it is good for a little independence. So, on the Kindle, and reading my favorite blogs. My ten year old has gone outside to play in the neighborhood, so he is good to go for another two hours.
7:00
I change all of the crazies into pajamas. The same feelings well up inside me everynight. Sort of like Christmas Eve. I get all excited with anticipation that in one short hour I will have only one child awake, but it is the one that is old enough to wipe his own butt, dress himself, get his own snack, and do what I tell him without me having to literally chase him. Then 30 minutes later, IT IS ME TIME!! Instead of "santa's coming", it is "Bedtime's coming! Get ready everyone! Bedtime is almost here! It's the most wonderful time of the day!!!" Every night, this optomistic excitement. Even thought i know better!
7:30
We head up out of the playroom and into the kitchen for snack time. This is low key, and everyone is usually chatty and in a good mood. Chocolate milk will do that to you. 7:45
Upstairs to brush teeth. This is usually chaotic. We have one stool in the bathroom for three kids., My thought was, Mini me is tall enough to see in the mirror now, Little Man needs me to do it for him so he is on my lap, but Thumbellina needs the stool. However every night it is the game "King of the Mountain", and three toddlers try to climb on, someone always gets hurt and it is a disaster. Every. Single. Night. You would think I would learn by now to get another couple of stools in there, but I never think about it until we are in there brushing and by then it is too late.
7:50
Send girls into their room to pick out a book. Take little man into his room to read a short book and then snuggle for a moment. Then he has this little OCD thing where he has to give me 5 high fives, then 'pound the rock' five times, then a hug and kiss. I can fast forward 20 years already and see him touching the door knob 4 times, spinning around, and touching it again 4 times before bed. Oh Lawd this boy is going to need therapy.
7:55Read to the girls, then give them each a hug and kiss good night. Then before I close the door,
"DO NOT get out of bed, DO NOT touch the light switch, and DO NOT touch your sisters things. If I have to come up here, I am taking your lovies. (they each have a pink bunny they love so much so this IS a huge threat. But one I have to use EVERY. SINGLE. NIGHT.) Good night. I love you both very much."
8:00
To quote Dr. BIll Cosby "Let the beatings Begin!"
For twenty minutes, the Admiral and I take turns running up and down the stairs to yell at, threaten, coerse, plead with, chastise, and punish our daughters. My excitement over the prospect of a peaceful night wains, and is replaced by frustration, and exasperation. Every. Single. Night.
"Mommy, I have to go to the bathroom"
"Daddy sissy took my blanket."
"Mommy sissy spanked me on the butt."
"Daddy sissy said she is the boss of me. and I said NO YOU ARE NOT THE BOSS OF ME! But she said, 'yes I is,'. Tell sissy she is not the boss of me."
Or various degrees of squealing, and giggling have to interupted.
Every. Single. Night.
8:30
Your royal highness is sent up to read for 30 minutes before bed. He ALWAYS gives me a full on groan that would impress an elephant. Then there is the requisite "PLEASE just 5 more minutes. I just want to finish this ___(insert activity of choice here) Plus I didn't get to have a snack. I am STAAAAARVING." Now with any other child I would say, 'sorry for you, you should have thought of that before' but with his ADHD medication he is really underweight, so we have to let him eat whenever he is hungry. But I always give him a great deal of crap, hoping that having to be hassled would be enough to not try this again. It never is.
8:45"THUMBELLINA!! Quit talking to your sister. She is asleep. Leave her alone and close your eyes."
Every. Single. Night.
This child is a night owl. She is so tiny for her age, so I keep telling her if she goes to sleep she will grow bigger, because a body can't grow without enough sleep. She just looks at me as if to say, "I am good mom. I like my height, let's party."
9:00
Kiss Your Royal Highness, and make him put the book down. This wasn't a problem until Harry Potter came into his life. I completely empathize. Not too long ago this girl was staying up for 24 hour stretches to finish the books. All I have to say is , Half Blood Prince? Finished it in 28 hours, straight. Oh, yea baby. I did. So I don't get too mad when he says, "I just have to finish this page." Usually I want to be all, "What is going on now???????" But I resist.
Pass by the twins room, finally quiet.
Total times up and down stairs, 8.
And a whoosh of air comes out of me, I snuggle on the couch with the Admiral, and the night is finally ours.
Until is isn't.
Your royal highness has varying degrees of issues that sometimes just cannot wait until morning. I hear shuffling of feet on the carpet above our heads. some of the better ones were, 'I forgot my jacket at school, and it is really important to me.'; 'what if there is a fire? What will happen to my Legos?'; and 'Are there tornadoes in this part of the city? Because I really am afraid of tornadoes.'
Tonight's
issue:
"Mom, why is my bedtime so early? Other kids get to stay up, and they are mean to me because my bedtime is so early." (I am guaranteeing that this does NOT happen, but maybe if he tells me he is getting picked on I will change his bedtime.)
"I can make it earlier if you don't get back in bed." Retreating feet are heard.
And NOW the night is finally ours. That is our bedtime routine.
Every. Single. Night.
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