Hmm, Pinteresting...

So I have come to the conclusion that most of the pins that are on Pinterest are just completely ridiculous.  Now don't get me wrong, I am like most of you.  I am right there, pinning away happily in the evening when the Admiral is watching something dumb on TV.  But even though I am pinning this stuff, I know in my head that it is either #1 completetly undoable, or #2 I will never do it because I don't have the time. More importantly, anyone who actually HAS the time to do this stuff, really needs to assert those efforts into becoming a more productive member of society. 

Now I don't mean the recipies, ( because man, some of those are ah-maz-ing), or the cleaning tips (though some of those can be quite questionable).  I am talking about the fashion.  The impossible photo shoots, and all of the things that make me feel like a complete loser mom.  If I did a quarter of the things that are on there for keeping up with milestones, or important events in my kids lives, I would never sleep, eat, or see my kids. 

Let me give you just a few examples of the things some of these trolls put on there that make me feel guilty or inadequate.  For example

This is a 'what to do with your sonogram'.  Do you know where my sonograms are?  In an enevelope in a box somewhere.  Am I ever going to frame them?  Probably not, because by the time I get around to it, my kids will be bigger and what kid wants to bring their friend over to play in their room with this collage hanging in it?  Creeeepy.

Then there is  this

First of all, I do not have a chalkboard.  And even if I did, I would not do this, because I am exhausted, and when the baby is awake, most likely it wants carried around all the time, or is eating, or throwing up on me.  Plus, what am I going to need all of this information for later?  His resume?  "Oh yes I see that Little Man was 9 pounds at one month old.  Well, I am sorry, the applicant that came in before you was 10 pounds at one month, and could already roll over.  You just aren't qualified enough.  Suzie please send in the next applicant, I hear this guy was saying 'Mama' at 3 months old!"
Plus I haven't even printed off any pictures of my youngest since his first birthday.  They are all still on the camera or the computer.  So who knows when or if it would ever make it to print anyway. I feel guilty.  Your royal highness has a whole scrapbook all about his first year.  The twins, well, we barely have any pictures of them until six months because I could barely think let alone grab a camera.  And poor Little man, Most of the pictures we have were taken by other people.

Next offender.
Don't get me started on these lunches.  What kind of Ritalin are these moms siphoning off of their kids?

I have four kids and two additional toddlers that I watch.  If I did this, first of all, my kids would still not eat it, and then throw it at each other, and then I would be pissed and resentful to them. But also  they would STARVE and miss the holiest of holies, NAP because it would take two hours to do this for all 6 of them!

Next thing that drives me crazy.  WHY upon WHY do all of the nurseries and bathrooms have chandeliers?  What parent puts a chandelier in their kids room?  Or in the BATHROOM? 

Yeah, the Admiral wouldn't hit his head on that at all.  SMH.....

And finally, the party ideas. More importantly, the children's party ideas.  These days I am happy just to manage to HAVE a party for my children.  They are expensive, and a pain in the butt, and are just getting out of control.  (don't get me started on goodie bags. Why in the name of frugal Ben Franklin do I need to give all of the guests a gift, after I have invited them, fed them, and given them cake and ice cream?  Why?  I just don't get this tradition.  Seems to me that the party kind of IS the gift, right?  I mean, I just paid $300 for all of those little ingrates to get into Pump it up, and play on inflatables for two hours straight, $100 for pizza, and $60 for a giant cake to feed them all.  Really?  I have to give you all a bag full of 'goodies' (aka crap) that you are going to touch for the amount of time it takes for the car ride home, leave it in the car, only for  your parents to toss out the next time they clean out the car?  But I digress....)  But Pinterest has all of these ideas on there that make me feel like I am such a loser mom.  For example....

Individually wrapped crayons.  (pause for a withering stare.)  Come.  On.  WHO has time to do this for every crayon, for every bundle, for every kid?  I will just leave this at that.

Do you know how expensive this would be??  Who can afford to do this?? And if you can, don't tell me.  I don't want to know.

Now this one, I am shamefully going to admit, I tried to do this for my son.  I went to the store, and guess what it was going to cost to make one of these for every student in his class. Math lesson everyone, gather round.

 A roll of Rolos is about a dollar.  Each bundle needs three.  There were 23 students in his class last year. How much does momma need in order to make these for her precious?

Answer: $66!!!!  For CANDY!  So even if I would have done one stick of Dynamite for each student, it would have been $23.  So I went with Mentos.  They were much cheaper.  Then there is the message.  I was making these pretty close to after Sandy Hook happened.  So I didn't think 'Bomb' would be a good word to use for the message.  I changed it to "You are a blast to have as a friend".  Better, right?  Oh, and let me also say, it took me 3 HOURS to make and write the message and tape it all together.  AND I had to do all of this AFTER my littles went to bed.  What kind of crack was I on, you ask?  Well, we were getting ready to move, and I was having serious mommy guilt for what I was going to put my son through.  So I thought I would do something nice for him.  Now I will say, he really did love and appreciate it, but I will probably never ever do something like this again.  Probably.

 I don't know, mommy guilt will make you do a lot of things.  Including Pinterest.